I have never been very deft with a sewing machine or thread and needle, but I do appreciate the talents of those who are. My friend Michiko can sew anything and everything. I wanted a zipper in my backpack for my hike—done. I wanted my classes to have eye pillows—made. She has created countless neck warmers, multitudes of baby blankets, and for her grandchildren on Halloween—elaborate costumes of choice. She impresses me with her talents but she reminds me with her wisdom that when life tears you apart, you can mend…a little bit at a time.
The thread of Michiko’s wisdom that I hold onto is that we do not repair ourselves with perfect seams, faultless lines, or impeccably aligned patterns, instead we repair by mending our hurts, our discomforts, our losses one small stitch at a time. This requires patience. But it also offers the hope that we will become whole again—whatever that patchwork of whole might end up being for each of us.
I have had friends torn open by cancer, by the loss of love and loved ones, by the tortures of depression and while some still struggle, I believe they will mend—not all at once and not without a few remnants of what they went through, but they will mend. We all will mend if we accept that first the process is slow but deliberate and second if we accept there will be beauty in the patch work that emerges.